1. Reduce Relationships, Keep the Circle Pure#
Comedian Zhou Wei once performed a sketch called "Circle," in which the protagonist is a small character who is enthusiastic about managing relationships but is burdened by them.
He gains many conveniences through his network of relationships, living a comfortable life: no matter how late he returns home, there is always a security guard saving a parking space for him; tickets that others can't get, he can have them delivered with just a phone call; famous experts in hospitals, he can enter with just a push.
In Zhou Wei's eyes, it seems that as long as he climbs the social ladder and finds relationships, everything can be solved. However, his downfall quickly comes. When his son wants to enter a top high school, he tries to use his connections, but it doesn't work this time.
He cleverly gives the principal's mother a precious dog as a gift, but accidentally hurts the old lady and completely offends the influential person. His network of relationships becomes a shackle.
Many simple things become complicated in social circles. In the short term, he did enjoy the benefits, but it became a landmine in the long run.
If you're not capable, it's useless to mix in any circle; only when the circle is pure can you focus on moving forward.
Young writer Liu Tonggang also wanted to fit into a circle when he went to Beijing. He often felt anxious and lost when his colleagues ignored him because of their appointments with their superiors. This emotional state seriously troubled him and even affected his work.
Later, he realized that his own abilities were more useful than mixing in circles. He focused on his work wholeheartedly, and a turning point in his life came.
In "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame," there is a saying:
"This is the sun at dusk, but we treat it as the dawn."
People who blindly move forward in their network of relationships always think that this is a new hope for the rest of their lives, but in fact, they are just blinded by their utilitarian desires. Forcing oneself into a circle will only meet people with different frequencies, and with different destinations. Even if they can walk together for a while, they will eventually be forced to disperse.
Instead of scheming to fit into a circle, it is better to increase one's own capital; only when one's own value is increased will relationships become useful.
2. Reduce Goals, Cultivate Oneself#
Do you know anyone like this around you?
They blindly follow others when they see someone making money from opening a store, only to end up losing everything; they rush into the stock market when they see others profiting, only to lose everything. They are like headless flies, looking for shortcuts everywhere, doing this and that, but achieving nothing.
I once saw a meaningful picture: a person digging wells everywhere to find water. Every time they dig for a while without any results, they move to another place and try again. In the end, they still gain nothing.
In fact, if they had focused on one goal and dug deep, they would have found water a long time ago.
As Zeng Guofan said:
"A person who focuses on one thing will excel, while a person who is scattered will fail."
Instead of taking on low-quality tasks, it is better to focus on a goal and learn to cultivate oneself. Hattori Masatsugu, the president of the Japanese watch company Seiko, led the company through the impact of World War II and achieved steady development.
At that time, Swiss mechanical watches were selling well worldwide and became a symbol of high status. Seiko spared no expense in researching the quality of mechanical watches but still couldn't surpass their competitors. In the end, Masatsugu Hattori decided to give up useless efforts and lead everyone to fully develop quartz electronic watches.
After a long period of cultivation, the quartz electronic watches they produced had a monthly error of less than 15 seconds, far surpassing the king of watches, Rolex.
When the product was launched, it caused a sensation in the watch industry and became the most popular watch in the world.
Life is like this, the more goals you have, the more your energy is divided, and the harder it is to shine. By focusing on one point and digging deep, you can forge a resilient core and enhance your competitiveness.
Recently, a Huawei employee who earned a top salary but never worked overtime became popular on social media, causing envy among many people.
It turned out that his skills were extremely advanced. He could solve network problems that others couldn't solve in half an hour, so he was not afraid of being laid off.
There is a saying:
"Your reward is not proportional to your amount of work, but to the irreplaceability of your work."
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, and hard work is king.
Instead of digging many wells and lamenting the difficulties of life, it is better to dig one well deep and hold a diamond in your hand.
3. Reduce Distractions, Cultivate an Open Mind#
In the "New Book of Tang," it is written:
"There are no problems in the world, only ordinary people who disturb themselves."
People with too many distractions often live in turmoil and pain.
There is a story about a merchant who obtained a priceless gem and became restless. Because of this, he fired his coachman, left the merchant caravan, and traveled alone in disguise.
One day, someone called out to him on a mountain road, and in a panic, he drove away, causing himself and his horse and carriage to fall off a cliff. In fact, the person just wanted to remind him that there was no road ahead and he needed to take a detour, but he harmed himself because of too many distractions.
A person's actions are a reflection of their inner thoughts. The more you think, the more problems you have. With a clear mind, even the most complex matters can be understood.
Once, Confucius and his disciples were taking a summer retreat in the woods and saw a hunchbacked man catching cicadas. They noticed how agile he was, catching a cicada with each swing of his bamboo pole. Confucius approached him and asked, "Do you have any secrets for catching cicadas?"
The old man replied, "In this vast world, I only have catching cicadas in my eyes. Nothing else can distract my thoughts. How could I not catch cicadas?"
In "Fu Lei Talks about Art," there is a saying: "Superficiality means lacking an inner world. Lacking an inner world means lacking a calm spirit, which means lacking a lasting life."
In life, when the mind is filled with distractions, it is difficult to focus on the events themselves and will lead to taking detours. In work, thinking too much will make you entangled in external interference and easily miss opportunities.
Only by reducing distractions and cultivating oneself in a pure state of mind can one lay a solid foundation in the wind, frost, snow, and rain.
4. Reduce Desires, Cultivate Spiritual Abundance#
Zhou Guoping once told a fable: a rabbit loved admiring the moon. In her eyes, the moon's waxing and waning had its own charm. Impressed by her extraordinary appreciation ability, the gods gave her the moon. However, when the white rabbit admired the moon again, her mood was completely different: "This is my moon!"
She stared at the moon as if a landlord was guarding his own treasure. When clouds covered the moon, she became nervous and uneasy. When the full moon waned, she felt heartbroken. She was always worried about losing her precious possession.
In her eyes, the moon's waxing and waning was no longer charming but instead triggered endless worries about gains and losses. Life has a limit, and excessive desires are a burden to the body and mind.
In the popular drama "Go! Mom," Qin Wei runs her own online store, her husband is a programmer with a stable income, and they have a well-behaved daughter. They live a happy life together.
However, she is not satisfied with the current situation and becomes increasingly vain. In order to buy designer handbags, she maxes out her credit cards and can't even pay bills of a few hundred yuan; in order to get her daughter into the most famous primary school, she borrows high-interest loans to buy a house in a problematic school district, which leads to the whole family being chased by violent debt collectors; in order to make more money, she forces her husband to work multiple jobs, which eventually leads to his collapse and hospitalization.
After experiencing a nightmare-like life, she finally realizes her mistakes in front of her husband's sickbed: "We are just an ordinary family, there is no need to pursue so much. It was me who always wanted to compare with others, pretending to be rich, buying houses in school districts, and borrowing high-interest loans. In fact, only the three of us being together is a better life."
Sotina Zen Master said:
"The desires of life are like the branches on a tree. You cannot completely eliminate them, but you need to trim them regularly."
Life is a process of removing the unnecessary and keeping the essence. The best way to live the second half of life is to reduce desires and cultivate thoughts. Don't be captured by excessive desires, don't be kidnapped by a flashy life, learn to moderate, and live to the fullest.
Wang Guozhen once said:
"If you want to live freely, you can only live an ordinary life; if you want to live brilliantly, you can only live a painful life; if you want to live long, you can only live a simple life."
There are countless paths in life, and no matter which one you choose, you will have to bear additional pain. The Peach Blossom Spring, where one lives in seclusion from the world, also has people who compete for fame and fortune. In a complex environment, there are always people who focus and concentrate on improving themselves.
In life, if you want less, you can live more freely; if you want glory, you can only live in pain; if you want longevity, you can only live a simple life.
May we all simplify our lives, find our own path, and live a fulfilling life.