Why do people in the Celestial Empire society always act in the name of "love," "responsibility," and "the greater good," while actually exercising control?#
The desire for control is not an individual issue. It is a collective phenomenon woven by history and culture, reflecting thousands of years of collective subconscious.
I. Historical Perspective: The "Management" Culture Under a Millennium of Autocracy#
The key word in the traditional political philosophy of the Celestial Empire is not "freedom," but "order." Since the Qin Dynasty, with the unification of script, measurement, and weights, to the Han Dynasty's "suppressing a hundred schools of thought, and uniquely honoring Confucianism," the basic logic of the state has been: "Unified cognition facilitates governance." The head of the family is the "ruler" of the household, and the words of parents are "imperial edicts"; officials are the "parent officials" of their regions, and subordinates must "obey arrangements." Control is the foundational order upon which the entire society operates.
Control = Authority = Stability is the underlying logic of Confucian order.
II. Geographical Perspective: The Celestial Empire as an Extreme Example of a "Familiar Society"#
Unlike the loose structures of European countries, the village-based society of the Celestial Empire makes everyone live within a web of relationships. In an environment where interpersonal relationships cannot be anonymous, individual privacy is almost nonexistent, and moral pressure is immense. Controlling others is to maintain "reputation" and "dignity," as well as to avoid the fear of "being excluded."
The essence of control is a deep fear of losing control.
III. Cultural Perspective: Confucian Ethics Construct the Framework of "Control and Being Controlled"#
Father as the guide for the son, ruler as the guide for the minister, husband as the guide for the wife—these three guides and five constants philosophically beautify the relationship of control. "Disobedience = Unfilial," and unfilial behavior is unforgivable. The expression of love is not "I respect you," but "I control you, I arrange everything for you."
Control is packaged as "the love that is natural and just," rather than interference and invasion.
IV. Psychological Perspective: "Identity Anxiety" and "Internal Control Inability" in Collectivist Culture#
Many parents in the Celestial Empire themselves lack a sense of control over their destinies; their work, marriages, and lives are all "arranged." Thus, they project their hopes onto the next generation, attempting to achieve their "ideal life" through controlling their children. Similarly, superiors in the workplace often oppress young people with an "experienced" attitude, which is a form of "downward control" stemming from their own insecurities.
Controlling others is a compensatory mechanism for one's own feelings of powerlessness.
V. Philosophical Perspective: Freedom is the Last Accepted Thought#
In the Western Enlightenment, "individual" and "autonomy" became the core of modern philosophy, but the Celestial Empire has not experienced the same philosophical rupture throughout its long history. The spread of liberal thought is still constrained by the traditional mentality of "collectivism first" and "harmony is precious."
In a social structure that has not truly understood "self," freedom is often misunderstood as "selfishness" or "rebellion."
VI. Metaphors of Control in Literature: From "Dream of the Red Chamber" to "Fortress Besieged"#
Grandmother Jia in "Dream of the Red Chamber" is actually a typical "gentle controller"; Fang Hongjian in "Fortress Besieged" seems to drift freely but is actually tightly bound by marriage and tradition; including Lu Xun's "filial sons and virtuous grandsons" and "Ah Q," all analyze the logic of institutionalized taming.
Literature from the Celestial Empire is a psychological history of "control and escape."
VII. How Can We Escape the "Control" Trap?#
Reinterpret "love" as not control, but respect for boundaries; establish a psychological awareness of "I have the right to choose," rather than "I must obey"; learn to "express boundaries" in intimate relationships and workplaces; understand "you are not an extension of your parents, nor a pawn of your boss"; respecting each other is the most basic bottom line in the adult world.
Conclusion · Straight to the Point:#
"I scold you for your own good," "I pressure you because I love you," "I arrange everything for you because I'm afraid you'll go astray."
—These controlling phrases sound gentle, but they cause people to lose themselves.
True love is to set you free, not to bind you as a slave. True respect is the courage to let go, not to be unyielding.