Schopenhauer once said:
“To be like others, we lose three-quarters of ourselves.”
This statement is very relevant today.
Some people, in pursuit of so-called “success,” chase after others’ footsteps, unknowingly losing their true selves.
- Don’t be a “copy.”
Every day we are busy “competing”; if you don’t compete, it means you will be eliminated.
But most people rarely stop to ask themselves:
Who am I? What do I really want?
When others get promoted, you feel anxious;
When others buy houses, you feel stressed;
When other kids enroll in various interest classes, you follow suit;
When others post about their travels on social media, you can’t wait to book a flight.
To keep up with the “rhythm,” we desperately “get on board,” fearing that if we fall behind, we will be left behind.
But in reality, this so-called “catching up” is just falling into an endless comparison game, ultimately losing ourselves.
Shu Tree once said:
“No matter what everyone in the world says, I believe my feelings are correct. No matter how others see it, I will never disrupt my own rhythm. What I like, I can naturally persist in; what I don’t like, I can’t sustain for long.”
Gradually, you lose yourself and become a “standardized” copy.
- Don’t blindly follow the crowd.
You often hear colleagues in the office talking:
“That old Liu family bought a school district house,” “The neighbor Wang family got a new car again,” “The kid downstairs is really impressive, excelling in every subject.”
Most people believe that only such a life is successful.
And those who haven’t kept up with this rhythm seem to be ruthlessly “eliminated.”
We look at these “others’ lives” and start to question ourselves: Is it only by being like this that I won’t be considered abandoned?
But the question is, does being like others really make us happy?
Schopenhauer already told us the answer: No.
Following others’ paths may give you a temporary sense of belonging, but that is fleeting and hollow.
What is lost in trying to be like others is the genuine self, and the cost of losing this self is far greater than imagined.
- Don’t be “labeled” or “framed.”
Thoreau said in “Walden”:
“I wish to deeply immerse myself in life, to suck the marrow out of life, to live solidly and simply, to eliminate everything that does not belong to life, to push life to its limits, using the most basic forms, simple, simple, and again simple.”
Life doesn’t need so many complex labels and frameworks, nor does it need to revolve around others’ standards.
Sometimes, enjoying a good cup of tea with a few close friends or climbing a mountain is also a kind of happiness.
In fact, this principle was already told to us over 1000 years ago by the Roman Emperor Aurelius:
“The goal of life is not to stand with the majority, but to avoid falling into the ranks of the insane.”
We follow the crowd to earn money to buy school district houses, we follow the crowd to save money for new cars, we follow the crowd to enroll our children in various interest classes.
We envy others living their lives to the fullest while suffocating ourselves.
But is the path others take really suitable for you?
We always think that following the footsteps of the majority will help us avoid detours.
But don’t forget, everyone’s path is different; what suits others may not suit you.
Just like the saying we often hear: “No matter how good someone else’s child is, they are still someone else’s.”
Everyone has countless possibilities, don’t they?
There is no perfect template in the world, nor is there a single path to success that fits everyone.
Postscript
Nietzsche once said:
“Become who you are!”
Only you know who you truly are.
The path that suits you can only be walked by you.
Life is short; don’t let others’ lives define you, and don’t sacrifice yourself just to be like others.
There are no standard answers in life, nor do we need them.
When you achieve the three “don’ts”: don’t be a copy, don’t blindly follow the crowd, don’t be “labeled” or “framed,” perhaps that is when your inner strength begins to grow.