When I was young, I always thought about becoming independent and achieving personal freedom. However, as I grew up, I found that when I finally became independent, I completely lost my personal freedom. In the struggle for the liberation of body and mind, the individual is placed in the most important position. Thus, we all learned to say: everyone has the right to freedom and self-realization; we need independence and autonomy, we need personal fulfillment. Unknowingly, we have entered an era of individualization without individualism. We have left behind families, villages, workplaces, and collectives, breaking all inherent constraints. The individual seems fearless, shedding everything, devouring everything.
What is the result? Traditional ethics have been broken, new beliefs have yet to be established, interpersonal relationships have become generally commodified, and everyone wants to be independent of others, yet is constantly relying on and utilizing others. Interactions no longer exist based on leisure, hobbies, taste, emotions, and other personal spiritual needs for freedom, nor are they maintained based on social needs such as reciprocity, cooperation, and mutual assistance, but rather exist based on unavoidable utility, fulfillment, and the desire for solitude. People view interactions through a sales mindset, where all interpersonal relationships can be quantified, and social circles are the basic market.
Whether a person is worth interacting with depends on whether they are a potential consumer. If the other party has no value, one must at least ensure they do not suffer losses in the interaction. Relationships with relatives and friends are driven by interests, calculating the value of exchanges. Everyone thinks this way, the scope of human relationships gradually shrinks, and people become accustomed to living their small lives behind closed doors. Unfortunately, outside the door are interests, and inside is also filled with calculations. Marriage has become an adventure; dowries, property, etc., are safeguards against marriage risks. Therefore, high dowries are widespread, not because of bad customs, but simply because the nature of the interpersonal relationships that dowries carry has changed.
In the past, dowries were a signal of goodwill between two families. Today, dowries are a guarantee of severing relationships between two families. For many, even close relatives are filled with calculations, revolving around retirement funds and inheritance, and there is always struggle among siblings. The fact that the elderly can support themselves has become common; they may live alone and perhaps avoid family conflicts. Once care is needed, chaos ensues. The descendants willing to support the elderly are often because the elderly have savings. Once there is no inheritance, they can immediately turn their backs.
Which elderly person does not wish for their children to enjoy their company? Self-support and living alone are merely helpless acts of losing the freedom of choice. Which young person does not wish to live freely and easily? Yet they are trapped by various interpersonal relationships around them. Under the prevalence of "individualism" without "personal freedom," everyone must carefully protect themselves. In public places, one must consider the potential costs of acting bravely; if an elderly person falls, one must think about whether to help, preferably finding a witness; on trains, if a doctor saves someone, the conductor must register the doctor's qualifications, fearing that the rescued person might turn against them; even grassroots governance by the government has popularized door-knocking actions to prevent elderly people living alone from dying unnoticed for days.
In fact, no one is prepared for personal freedom, to live well on their own, whether materially or psychologically. Faced with the arrival of the era of individualization, we are caught off guard, falling into the dilemma of "individualism" that leaves "personal freedom" completely absent, from which no one can escape. Personal freedom and solitude seem to be a natural outcome, but in reality, it is a social capability that must be built upon a complete social system.